Let’s say, every now and again, I like to bang my head against a metaphorical brick wall. I like to walk into a high rise building after setting up an appointment with a large and impressive company and practice my interview skills.
Because, let’s face it, hiring is subjective.
And with all of the “tips” on how to write a resume (keep most of your “employment experience” aka job hopping out of it), make your resume sounds FABULOUS! Let’s not forget the acting classes aka interview tips on how to “get the job” and answer those tricky questions so you can “shine” aka beat the competition.
Now, my authentic Aspie self outvotes any desire to be anyone other than myself. But really, does my future interviewer need to know I had my first paying job at 10 years old? That I worked at my father’s company at 14 years old? That I sold shoes and temped at 16 after school even when I had my wisdom teeth pulled and looked like a chipmunk? (Perfect attendence was important to me and my parents told me I couldn’t go to work unless I went to school, so with a fever and a swollen mouth, with saliva dribbling over my swollen lips I went to school all day then went to work at a shoe store that night).
Or my military history? The fact that I was a security guard? That I worked 2 jobs and went to school while raising a child as a single mom and still won awards and had letters of recommendation?
Where’s my medal? LOL…
Ok, ok…NONE of that was on my resume. Because 25 – 35 years later (yeesh!) and a bit of weight gain later, I don’t look the part. GI Jane will not be walking through that door.
Anyways, the file size was too big to email.
So I trimmed it down to the last couple of decades. Then I eliminated the temp jobs, the contract jobs, the freelancing, the self employed companies…
In the words of an employment consultant hired by the government, my resume looked too good, I needed to “be less than” so I didn’t intimidate my future supervisors.
I know what you’re thinking.
What’s wrong with you? That’s an awful lot of job hopping!
Well, if you watch the news and read the paper, there were a few recessions in between. Many of my employers liked to play fun games like:
- Bouncy bouncy with my paycheck (you know, when the check is worth less than the paper it’s written on).
- Catch me if you can on payday (convenience out of town trips)
- Vegas (my personal favorite! My pay which was supposed to be automatically deposited into my account wasn’t but the company president was having so much fun with it in VEGAS on vacation for weeks!)
- Tag (The company CEO blames the accountant for not having your check, the accountant says the CEO never signed it)
- Selective Amnesia (I don’t know where the bookkeeper put your check *it was right where he hid it*)
- Math 101 – (The Director of the nonprofit SWORE they had the funds to afford me, first payday the accountant runs into the room and announces there’s no money for payroll).
- Chase me if you can (yes, I had a company head wanting my check back so I would get NO FUNDS because I complained he shorted me…so I ran!).
- Oh, let’s not forget the requirement I show up at the company Christmas party if I wanted my paycheck. Then grab me by the face and kiss me full mouth before handing me my check. Somebody ALMOST punched their boss in the nose. I’m not going to say who it was (looking innocent), but as their top salesperson, not returning to work put them out of business., I’m just sayin’.
That’s not including layoffs or asking me to choose between my sick child and my job. Hmmm, really? I was one of their top salesperson and ironically, they were supposed to be the “happiest place on earth”.
Each one is a different company, folks. Gee, let’s see why I am no longer working with them?
Which brings me to today’s interview. It was for a property management position.
Why I was called in, I dunno, maybe it was for a lack of marks? (Not Marks as in many men called Mark. LOL…marks as in suckers!)
It was as a site manager for 11 units (not mentioned in the ad). Here’s the brilliance of their strategy.
I work hard, clean halls, shovel snow, cut grass, rent out the 11 units, collect rent every month, maintenance, clean units etc… I get the privilege of PAYING $1350 for living in a 3 story walkup in a 3 bedroom apartment I don’t need (on the 3rd floor…did I mention the 10 screws and plate in my leg?) and I would be paid $750 per month minus taxes of course.
In other words…let’s see $1350 rent charged – $750 pay = I pay them $600+ per month plus deposit and utilities (THAT IS NEGATIVE $600+ PER MONTH IN INCOME).
My personal favorite question of the interview was as follows:
“And where do you see yourself in 5 years?”
This is why I am self employed. Here’s another one for ya, true story I worked as a tree planter in Ontario one summer for a couple of weeks when we were travelling across Canada back in 2006. This unscrupulous company charged me $35/day in rent (in the middle of the woods) and then forgot to pay me hourly instead opting for per tree. Now, I’m a little hard of hearing. I heard 89 cents per tree and jumped on it, following a yellow bus into bear country. When I arrived, it turned out to be 8 or 9 cents per tree. Then the regulars would dump their trees in my bin so that (like the half empty glass of wine being refilled and never empty but your alcohol blood level says drunk) I covered the same area as my coworkers but showed I planted a fraction of theirs. At the end of the 2 weeks, I owed THEM money and could’t believe my plight!
Some of the guys who worked there after I left told of tales of thunderstorms and the forman trying to force them to stay and work. They thought they would have to fight their way out.
Nobody but the drug dealers got paid. (NO, I don’t do drugs nor deal drugs, never have. More on this subject in another article).
However, I did lose 30 pounds, so it wasn’t a total loss…and I have my very own gen-u-ine bear story. It involves a bear, some trees, tp and an hatchet named Veronica.
Indentured servitude is when you start working at a job and you end up owing more than you earned thus never getting ahead. It is a form of enslavement. It is alive and well in Canada.
Here’s the unbelievable part. Canada revenue still charges you taxes on income you never were paid because these parasitic companies forwarded their paperwork stating they paid you. They have paperwork.
You have nothing.
It happens too often.
Another con is when you work and not get paid. In Alberta alone there are over 3000 hard working people who were not paid by over 1500 companies. Those are just the ones who won cases with the labor board. That doesn’t include those individuals who just took their losses and moved on.
It’s criminal. You can go to jail for shoplifting (which I never have done – too much free stuff online ) but companies can get away with refusing to pay money owed their employees? If the employee worked and the employer refuses to pay them…that’s enslavement and it violates the Charter of Rights. Pure and Simple. It’s not a civil matter as many were mislead to believe, it’s a criminal act.
You know what I mean?
Use your powers for good, not evil.